Goodbye, Pope John Paul II (1920-2005).

(Piggy's Blog's still "parked" but must acknowledge today.)

Hail Mother Mary full of grace.
Hail the fruit of thy womb, Jesus Christ.

Gra sia plena, Maria,
Gratia plena
Maria, gratia plena
Ave, ave Dominus, Dominus tecum
Benedicta tu in Mulieribus, Et benedictus
Et benedictus fructus ventris
Ventris tui Jesus
Ave Maria

Bye, Pope, you were a blessing to an entire religion. You've done what's so hard--if not impossible--in a world that searches tirelessly for sensationalism, you've led a blameless life as far as men's eyes can see. Many have brought disgrace to Catholicism, but you've always held it high. Not even a bullet could shake your divine determination. Even "Fire 'Pon Rome" or Capleton songs that tried to decry your dedication to duty, found you holy, an' I'm that much more respectful ov your legacy today.
Notre Pere, qui est au cieux
Les trois--votre nom soit sanctifie.
Pardonnez nous nos peches.

It was in many ways wrong to sing songs that carelessly wished you ill--even if nobody really considered de lyrics back then. Now, I'm considerin'--but not too much Catholic guilt--just wishin' you a safe journey home.
We'll all miss a godly Polish man who never smeared de honour ov his papacy through all ov 27 years. Goodbye, Pope.

Da Boogie Down

Mi Blog's still on an ever-so-long break from its interactive glory, but in da meantime an' in between time, here's some special 'K' for your listenin' pleasure!

KRS-One: False Pride (from Da Sneak Attack album)

Kris' Intro: Okay now, listen to this:

A Mystical Teacher sat by the seaside
It was about 5 o'clock cause we heard the free ride
Anyway, The Teacher was talking in stride
Sitting upon a rock that was quite wide
And warning against false pride
"Come to where I reside!" a woman cried
And The Teacher replied, "Do you serve your fish fried?"
"Yes," she replied, "with potato salad on the side."
And The Teacher would comply, so, "Where do you reside?"
She said, "Up on the hillside, it's not a far ride.
If you came to have dinner, I would be so gratified."
The Teacher replied, " It's six o'clock or seven o'clock, you decide."
She replied, "Seven o'clock, do you like stir-fried?"

She was mystified and felt so dignified
The Teacher was coming to the house where she resides
So she purified with pesticides
Called up her friends nationwide
Some of her friends were tongue-tied; they felt so glorified

She made steamed fish, baked fish, fish that was fried
Soup, steamed vegetables, potato salad on the side
You could smell the bread in the oven, far and wide
Natural juices and water purified
Organic fruits brought from the countryside
With silver forks and knives placed side by side
You could not be dissatisfied
Looking out the window staring at the mountainside
You would have died

At 6:59 she's swollen with pride
As the moment intensified,
There was a knock from outside
She opened the door, "The Teacher has arrived!"
But to her surprise, it was a bum who cried
"Please, I smelled the bread from outside!
One piece, please" and then she replied
"The Teacher is coming, He's soon to have arrived.
You're making me look bad, come on now, step aside!"
The bum then replied,"When I say I'm hungry I haven't lied.
Give me some of that chicken you just fried."
She replied, "Chicken? Fried?
No! That's for The Teacher, you're not purified"
Then she slammed the door and went back inside
She sat on the couch with the TV Guide.

She looked at the clock, it was 7:09,
then 7:30; He still hasn't arrived
Eight o'clock, she's on the downside
Nine o'clock, by now she's teary-eyed
She's pissed off and her anger multiplied
She cried, then fell asleep dissatisfied

Next day she woke up, and was preoccupied
With meeting The Mystical Teacher who lied
Where could He hide?
She ran down by the seaside
He was there teaching about false pride

"You lied!" she decried, "You lied!
You said you'd be there at seven o'clock, but you lied!"
He replied, "No I have not lied. I came at 6:59,
And you told me to move aside.
I asked for bread and the chicken that was fried
And you said that I wasn't purified."
Stupefied, she replied, "I wasn't notified!
I had no idea that you wuz da bum that cried!"
And The Teacher sighed, then He replied,
"This concludes our lesson on false pride!!"

Sunshine's Day

Happy Birfday, Sunshine!

Sunny & Special
Unique
Natural woman
Sincere
Heartfelt
Inspirational
Nice person
Encouraging

As time goes by, we'll prob'ly be in touch re our literary dreams. (Although I'm yay north an' you're yay south, it'll still be a domestic call, so we won't have ta break our Piggy-banks when that time comes:) Enjoy your day, luv, an' many happy returns!

De Gender Gap

Had a very informative conversation this afternoon. Mi uncle was tellin' mi about a coworker ov his (a J'can he met since migratin' to London), an' de coworker's controversial views. De guy is married, but still somewhat radical. He offered to introduce mi uncle to a young English-woman ov J'can parentage. He kept repeatin' to mi uncle how "nice" an' "good" de 28-year-old is. "She's a total lady, pure as her own birfday," he told mi uncle. Mi uncle thought that meant she's a virgin--not an appealin' thought to any man who's aged past de big 4-0. Mi uncle says he told de coworker, "I'm not a teenager; I'm about buyin' de orchard an' plantin' fruit, not pickin' cherries." De coworker quickly clarified that de lady's "seal was broken," (ah know, it's horrid an' chauvinistic!), but said that de woman's been celibate for about 8 years. "Yes, that would be safest, all considerin'," mi uncle said, but de coworker said, "No, mate, it's not just a question ov health an' safety." Then, he proceeded to explain how a woman's inward an' outward esteem drops just a bit more wif each new partner, an' how a man's inward an' outward esteem rises just that much wif each new partner he has. Mi uncle asked him if he missed de Women's Lib movement, but now mi uncle says to me, "That's still de world we live in, Mel. That's why a man should never take for granted when a woman sleeps wif him, 'cause by sleepin' wif him, she runs such a social risk coupled wif de regular risks. That's quite a bit ov emotion she's got in de balance." Then he explained to me why mi aunt's always been so stern an' strict. Turns out, way back when mi aunt was in high school, she an' a male neighbour were walkin' along Eastwood Park Road, when a motorist called out to her, "Hey, White Liver! When me can get my piece?" Those words started a lot ov snickerin' an' outright laughter at mi auntie's expense. De motorist didn't know mi auntie, an' still doesn't. They were complete strangers, but because her features fit some stereotype he has, he threw de slur at her. Mi auntie was very ashamed--a little before that, a relative ov hers had been assaulted, an' people had dismissed de assault wif de same kind ov slur. Mi auntie took de insult personally. She cut her hair to everyone's surprise, an' started wearin' very baggy clothes an' long skirts instead ov regular jeans. That didn't deter those who wanted to hold on to stereotypes, they just labeled her conservative appearance as "sneakin'," so that they could keep her in their narrow-minded view. She's always been very circumspect in her appearance an' her behaviour. She stayed in a rocky marriage for decades, just because she didn't want "talk" to go 'round if she moved on (talk about livin' your life for other people--wake up, woman!). Ah thought she was just too uptight; however, now ah understand why she always spoke so sternly to me, an' why she set me such (unrealistic?) boundaries. In her day, judgement fell hard on women--it still does in de curious customs ov some societies, as ah learnt from Sunshine's Blog. An' as tough as it is for men to be men, it still seems tougher for women to be women in many respects.

A Book from A Book-Sale

Ah just started readin' an old book named "Please Love Me" by an author named Miller. It's de true story ov a beautiful Hollywood starlet, who unfortunately has a very Puritanical mother & an ice-cold father. De girl eventually gains modest fame (they didn't use her real name in de book), after bein' tossed about on de castin' couch, an' then bein' discovered as a beauty or a talent (introducin' de beautiful or talented, Miss County Farm!). However, she's so bitter about her own life from de very start (although on de surface she appears to have it all) that she tells a horrid lie on her 'best friend' an' gets de girl in serious trouble; she almost starts a forest fire; an' at de height ov her modelin' career, she still has no female friends because ov her suspicion that other women have an easier life than she's ever had. She's de "girl next door" all-American blonde wif social status an' de old-money to go wif it, but she envies her maid--a dirt-poor Black woman (de story's set in de 50s-60s)--because she thinks de black woman prob'ly has a more lovin' family than she's ever had. She joins de circus, then finally discovers Christianity. That's where we're all supposed to get sentimental an' cheer for her?! Ah haven't finished de book, because ah can't quite sympathize wif de woman's mean-ness. Her likkle superiority complex that makes her feel that other females should chase after her to be worthy ov her friendship, while she stands aside in judgement ov them an' ov all they do, an' tries to sniff out any cracks in their armour or weak spots in their personality, just makes her seem so hateful--'B-I-T-C,' might begin to describe her. Ah can understand that she internalizes some fings--introverts tend to be more outspoken when irritated, an' more contemplative otherwise--ah can relate to that--but her decision to busy herself behind de scenes, tellin' lies an' makin' so much malicious likkle mischief just doesn't sit well wif me. De author tries to paint her as a sympathetic heroine, a misunderstood Cinderella, but her joy at others' misfortune, her anger at others' good fortune, an' her inability to feel good about herself unless she's criticizin' or puttin' down another girl just doesn't endear her to de reader. I'm stuck wonderin' how someone who's blessed wif all de comforts ov upper-middle America could feel justified in begrudgin' those less fortunate, simply because her life wasn't perfectly perfect--an' she suspects de less fortunate might have de one fing that she really wants. Ah fink if de book teaches young girls anyfing, it teaches them what NOT to do, if they want love an' affection from de people around them. Anyway, havin' said that, I'm not yet at de point where I'd recommend de book.

SleePig

Didn't get much sleep last night, so ah fell asleep durin' de service today--throughout de service. Embarrassin'--had to be nudged awake a few times, but still missed most ov it. Barely heard de Benediction, didn't know when collection was takin' place. (Ah was too sleepy to notice how sleepy ah was, before actual sleep kicked in.) I'm a loner in church as much as anyone can be a loner in any church--'loner' just goes against de nature ov fellowship, so maybe ah go against de nature ov fellowship--an' I'm not a part ov de women's ministry. (Have ah ever mentioned that ah have poor social skills, an' am too shy in person to project de confidence that builds a lot ov friendships?) Not bein' a part ov that ministry means I'm on de outside ov it in every practical sense. Anyway, one ov de ministry's lively personalities decided to minister to mi for all ov 2 minutes.
She: What happened today?
Piggy: Ah fell asleep.
She: Oh, you felt ill.
Piggy: Ah fell asleep.
She: The message was so vital--you couldn't just fall asleep; you must've felt ill.
Piggy: Actually, Sister (X), ah fell asleep.
She: Sister (Y) did a very good creative-dance performance. Surely, you didn't miss that, or were you still not well at that point?
Piggy: (Tryin' ta recall de performance--Sister (Y) has a thick, voluptuous figure that had set all de Brothers starin' at her in her leotards an' wispy tutu, as she'd approached de pew to explain de relevance ov her dance to her singles' ministry. Mr. Pig had nudged mi awake when Deacon called up de Sister to do her dance, but I'd fallen asleep again immediately.)
She: (quick embrace) Not to worry, dear. Just feel better soon, okay?
Piggy: (woulda returned embrace, but embrace done a'ready) Okay.
From what ah remember ov de sermon, Reverend was talkin' about de disciples, an' de importance ov wisely choosin' our company. He started off by readin' from Isaiah 3, then from Matthew 10, then somewhere else in de Old Testament, Luke? Then some-fing, an' then some-fing. What can ah say? Choose your company--that's what ah remember--de service went over mi head this week. Hush.

Luv 4 Miss Lou

Bloggers, this is a picture ov Miss Lou. Mi Grandma is still at de top ov mi female luv list, but Miss Lou an' mi English teacher from Wolmer's are two women whom ah also luv an' respect--Barbara Gloudon's prob'ly still another, but that's a whole 'nother Blog. Anyway, ah luv Miss Lou for many reasons. She's always been wise enough to value de culture ov her nation. Some folk never learn how to value their own, so it was a great lesson ah learnt as a child an' even now from Miss Lou. Mi earliest memories involved watchin' de end ov her Ring Ding career, an' it would've been so much nicer to have seen her throughout her Ring Ding TV career, but I'm still grateful that ah saw any ov it--even if it was de very end. She's always celebrated de J'can patois dialect in poetry an' prose, when others sneered at their own dialect in JA--what's even more remarkable is that she excelled an' still excels at it, havin' taken it to de level ov an art-form. She's quite elderly now, an' unfortunately a widow as ov a few years ago. She never got rich from her vast volume ov work, but she didn't do any ov it for de luv ov money, she did it for de luv ov people an' de preservation ov their/her culture, so she deserves to be happy. If she ever reads this Blog, ah want her to know that ah luv her too. I'll post a few ov her poems every now an' then, so we can enjoy her talent on de Blog. Have a nice weekend!

Dinner This Evenin'

This evenin', we went to dinner wif a couple we met at a "Pilgrim's play" that was put on by Children's Workshop--it seemed we had a bit in common. There was such a pleasant camaraderie between us that we exchanged numbers when de play was over. (It was an okay likkle play, some kids forgot their lines--one ov them got stage-fright an' burst into tears an' his mother rushed to de platform, yellin', "Focus, Frankie! Focus!" Didn't know whether to laugh or cry along wif him. De mother wants to turn him inna de next Wesley Snipes, an' de kid prob'ly just wants to be sittin' in de audience eatin' poporn.) Anyway, we've developed some kinda friendship. We went to a few poetry-SLAMs together--turns out de husband luvs poetry as much as De Piggy does--an' de wife an' I've gone to two can-can sales together. They're a bit older than we are, an' de husband's a fan ov vintage reggae, soh when he found out that Mr. Pig used to play-out, he came over to drink some punch-a-creme (shout-outs to Sunshine!) an' listen to some music wif Mr. Pig for de New Year's. They've been married for 8 years, an' have 2 kids. This evenin' we went wif them to one ov mi favourite places, a small fusion restaurant (American, Asian, Italian, unfortunately no Caribbean), where mi favourite waiter works. He's mi fave 'cause he's legitimately gay--maybe homosexual, but no, that's not it--he's got real gaiety, a very upbeat, peppy personality wif a zest for life that just makes yu live a likkle bit harder when he's around. (He luvs mi clothes, an' ah luv his personality, so we get on.) Anyway, we were seated, an' mi fave waiter brought us decaf, biscotti, an' water, while we went over de menu like we weren't goin' to order de same shrimpy chicken & pasta wif garden salad that we always got. There's a tense silence, 'cause de other couple is very tight-lipped tonight. We don't know why, since this dinner date was their idea in de first place. What are they mad about? Mr. Pig an' I exchange confused glances. "What's de matta, people?" Mr. Pig pronounces de Black Uhuru intro like a joke, tryin' to break de ice an' get them to open up. They barely mumble nothing. Mr. Pig looks at me like, "WTF?" Then they decide to get steak--well done--an' tense silence continues, except for oldies playin' quietly. Now there's mi fave waiter singin' "Everlastin' Love" an' breakin' up de uneasy silence, while skillfully servin' us our meal wif his usual flair. De food is great, an' hungry as ever, ah dive in. THEN, they want to talk. And talk. And talk. And talk. And they want undivided attention. "This is it for our marriage," he announces. "Nobody's fault, but this is it." We look blankly at him. WTF?
"It's over," says de wife. "It done! Totally done."
That's why they suggested we go to dinner together this evenin'? WTF?
Now, there's de way to disturb a good meal. Then Mr. Pig goes into fix-it mode, an' starts suggestin' counselors an' such, but they say they don't want any counselor, "It's just over." Now, this ticks off Mr. Pig. He doesn't believe in people discussin' problems that they don't want to solve. "Since yu don't want no counselor, then don't bother bring it up," he says. "Let's just enjoy our money's worth of a good meal and go home." But no. They want to vent. And vent. Even though de husband said it's nobody's fault, they're suddenly goin' on about who said what an' who did what when where. They get a bit heated, an' distract de couple at de next table. I'm still eatin', swallowin' up de evenin', can't wait to go pick up de Piglet an' reach back home. Fave-waiter rushes over before their squabble gets more noticeable, an' seein' that their steak's been ignored, he coaxes them wif delicious dessert on de dumbwaiter. De woman looks close to tears. She doesn't want any pistachio creme pie. De man's face is set like, "Whatever!" I'm tryin' to be tactful an' not upset her any more than she already is, but not Mr. Pig. "(Waiter), split this down de middle," he says. "An' bring 2 doggy bag, please." Fave waiter relaxes a bit, he knows us--though he doesn't know de other couple--an' he trusts us not to let anyfing escalate. De husband isn't at all pleased wif Mr. Pig's indifference, but bein' indifferent, Mr. Pig don't care. Soon, we're all paid up--fave waiter is tipped even better than usual--an' we're goin' into our car, as they go into theirs--few strained partin' words said, as we leave. "We'll call you guys later," de husband tells us, an' they're drivin' off. We can hardly wait to get home, but instead ov comin' straight home, we stop at de park, sit on a bench lookin' at de frozen stream, an' go over what just happened. "Don't them did look happy?" Mr. Pig asks, an' I'm like, "Yep, but who really knows?" Evidently, they weren't happy--they aren't right now--but they gave a good impression ov happiness. "We can't mek that happen to we," Mr. Pig says, an' de thought ov it is so scary that we snuggle up on de bench for a good 20 minutes just starin' at de pond whose ducks are nowhere to be seen, before wi goh pick up de Piglet, an' drive come home. I'm still like, "WTF?"

AI Rant

Am somewhat disappointed wif American Idol tonight. One ov mi favourites (Ross, de redhead who sang Frank Sinatra songs at de Las Vegas audition) got sent home last night, an' two ov mi other favourites got sent home tonight. De guy had a quirky, spiky-blond look, an' Simon's funny about that kinda fing, so even though de guy was VERY talented ah kinda understood, but Jackie de 16-yr-old wif de mellow voice who seemed like a shoo-in got sent home. Maybe it was because she said she'd re-enter if she got sent home that made them believe it was okay to eliminate her now. I'm not pleased. No, they don't give a hoot. Ah vowed last year that ah don't like American Idol any more, after mi favourite got eliminated early out, an' ah was sure that ah didn't care about de show. Ah kept tellin' people that, but after seein' this season's auditions, it sucked me in again, only to piss mi off. It's not worth de anger, but de show is so unfair. They sent home de redhead 'cause he made de mistake ov scattin' when he should've been beltin' out lyrics at his last audition. That guy wanted it SO badly, an' he would've been good too, so he deserved to get it, but they rejected him--after they'd already chosen Marlea, de girl who rejected THEM! This is what J'can people woulda call "wanty-wanty can't get it, but getty-getty don't want it!" Sux, sux, sux, sux!

Make A Piggy

Kami's good friend, Virgo, posted a "How To Make Me" chart that ah found quite interestin', so ah commented that I'd add such a chart to mi Blog, an' here's Da Piggy's version ov it (only de data, not de columns an' rows, 'cause ah don't know how to do that part):

How to make me:

1 part industrious
1 part (mad-scientist) creative
2 parts nutty an' impulsive (:^)
2 parts loyal an' honest

So, Bloggers, would ya like to say even one ov your own ingredients or how to make a 'you'?

Da Piggy

Hi, Bloggers, here's a fuzzy picture ov Da Piggy. (Yu didn't fink I'd post a clear-as-day picture ov mi-self after cussin' out mi workplace an' callin' be bosses hemorroids, now did yu?) Anyway, yu never know who's readin' or where they hail from, so I'll do like Yammie did, an' say, "If you're readin' this, please write 'I read' in de comments, to let Da Piggy know that yu visited. Have a great day!

From Today's Sermon

What Da Piggy took from today's sermon:
God wouldn't lead us to it, without leadin' us through it, so whenever life gets really challengin', take comfort in de knowledge that all is never lost an' you can never be lost wif God, because he'll lead you through de harsh times. Like de song says, "There's victory in Jesus."

Some Folk

Some folk are experts at gettin' on people's last nerves--annoyin'! Today, de traffic lights weren't workin' at de merge lane ov de busy intersection near de mall. One would fink that this means motorists should drive extra carefully, right? Nope! Not so for everybody. De girl drivin' de car in front ov us was busy listenin' to music, an' decided that not only should she dance, but her car should dance as well--even at a broken traffic light!! If that's not somebody beggin' to be rear-ended, then ah don't know what is. She can see only about 2 car lengths along de road to her left, an' she's in de right-turn lane intendin' to turn right. She'll have to yield if cars race from behind de steep corner on her left, rushin' to de mall. Precarious position indeed when there are no traffic signals to regulate it, yet she's makin' her car dance. Every time she releases her brakes, it looks like she's about to dash out to try an' catch a quick merge into de flow ov traffic. Alas, no, she isn't doin' that! She's just stompin' on de brake an' lettin' it go in time to de music. I'll admit, we're all likely to have done that immature crap at some point or other--maybe as sophomores--but not as MATURE adults, an' she looks like a grown woman. Her car sounds like a mobile dance-hall--which is fine, except she's distracted as heck, an' still she's actin' up at de broken stop-light, without mergin' into traffic. De drivers behind me don't know what's goin' on wif her, 'cause they can't see over de top ov mi vehicle, an' there's no room to go 'round her, so they're honkin' their horns 'til she finally merges into traffic. It really takes ALL kinds! Have a good weekend!

Great Voice

If William Shatner or his vocal twin, Regis, spoke "normally," would anyone impersonate either ov them? And on Idol, only de best match-up ov voice an' personality usually gets a chance. So d'you notice how some people's voice just seems to fit them to a tee, an' other people's voice seems to have been stolen from someone else's frame, MIKE TYSON!! Sorry for that Tourette's moment, but let's continue. Sometimes de most seemingly mismatched voice can be a blessin'; can yu imagine Q-Tip bein' so distinctive without that smooth, almost effeminate voice checkin' da rhyme? Whenever Mr. Pig an' I've got to be apart for any span ov time, short or long, his voice is always what gets me goin' as soon as ah see him again. Once he was waitin' to pick me up at de airport, an' ah was tryin' to find him in de post-customs confusion. Ah was scannin', lookin' for his face in de crowd, when a kid shouted above de noise to ask mi de time, an' as soon as ah shouted above de noise an' answered, ah heard that vibrant voice that ah love so much callin', "Piggy, a you that? Mi hear yu, but mi can't find yu." We soon found our way through de crowd an' de high heaps ov bag an' pan bein' rolled about, but that's still one ov de sweetest sounds I've ever heard in mi life. Ah can't describe his voice, it's not really a husky tenor, it just might be a livelier version ov that. When he talks, yu can always hear how ready he is to laugh or sing a song whose lyrics he mightn't even know--heaven help de song--but that's what makes it so hard to imagine his voice when I'm not hearin' it. When anyone asks what's mi favourite song, de memory ov him at de airport comes to mind before any song does. If Mr. Pig had a boomin' Lou-Rawls-Earl-Jones voice, maybe we wouldn't even be married--superficial as it sounds. After all, if Michael Jackson's voice came out every time Farrakhan opened his mouth, there might be no Nation. Voices are powerful, even at their weakest, wouldn't ya agree?

2 Qt!

Hi, Bloggers, ah just read this cute little story an' it tickled me so much that I'm sharin' it wif everyone. Here it is:
An emergency delivery had to take place at a mother's home at the last minute. Due to a shortage of personnel and a power outage at the time, only one paramedic responded to the call, and the house was very, very dark. The paramedic asked Katelyn, a 3-year-old girl, to hold a flashlight over her mommy so he could see while he delivered the baby. Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked, watching with wide eyes as her mother pushed and pushed until little Connor was born.
The paramedic lifted the infant by his little feet and slapped the baby on his bottom. Connor began to cry. Concerned that Katelyn might be upset at seeing her baby brother crying from being slapped, the paramedic gently turned his attention to Katelyn, thanked her for her help and asked her what she thought about what she had just witnessed.
Katelyn looked firmly at her newborn brother and quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place. Smack him again!"

Hard Not to Notice It

De Reverend ov mi old church has been drivin' de latest model SUV ov a certain kind, an' has been sportin' ten-gallon hats like a black cowboy. That somewhat showy persona was but one ov de reasons we switched to a dif'rent church, shallow as it may seem--we decided to be non-denominational in findin' a church when we moved to our town. After settlin' into de new church, we saw de Rev when we went to de supermarket. He was walkin' into a nearby Radio Shack--still dressed like a three-piece-suit wearin' cowboy, an' Mr. Pig commented, "But wait, Piggy! Noh him a encourage everybody fe contribute an' sponsor him fellowship trip to JA, but look how him supe-up him wheels!" Ah didn't say much to that, but ah wondered about it, tryin' to view that Rev as an 'original' in de way ov Bing Crosby, Bill Cosby, Slick Rick, Bob Dylan, Bette Davis, Stevie Wonder, J.R. an' Sue Ellen, Katharine Hepburn--even Flava Flav--people whose individuality just jumps out at ya an' legitimizes all they do--but it didn't work. De pastor don't rock such. In all his style an' fashion, maybe he's tryin' at individuality like de King ov Pop seems ta try unsuccessfully at Elvis' enigmatic persona, or like Elvis succeeded at Be-bop Rock'n'Roll's then-radical characters. ANYway, in de end, we decided that as far as Rev was concerned, we should ignore de Rolli on da arm, stop wonderin' if he's pourin' Chandon, an' not Hate on a brother 'cause he's got it goin' on. However, we moved on from that church anyway, after it came to light that its other Reverend was involved in de abuse ov a teenager whose parents understandably hid her away after that. At that point, we an' MANY members said, "This definitely isn't our church home!" Funny, it wasn't de Rev whose flashy fashion threw us, who ended up wif de legal an' religious problems; it was de other (overlooked) Rev. This evenin' we saw someone who looked like de flashy Rev, an' ov course Mr. Pig had a sour expression again--couldn't blame him, ah had de same expression too. De Bible does say, "Render your hearts and not your garments," or such, but it's hard not to notice certain heights ov flashiness, isn't it?

Happy Earthday, Mr. Marley!

Kami says it's possible to write about Bob on his earthday without sounding off at his widow who now has so much conflict. Here's a try.

Ode to Bob, Owed to Bob

Bob, what would Jamaica be

If you were never born to we?

From Reggae to Dancehall, Deejay to Rap,

Jamaica woulda hardly deh 'pon de map!

What would Jamaica do were it not for you?

Win few Olympic race, then retreat into "A who?"

We all know, if you were never there,

We'd be ackee bidout saltfish, an' so-soh dry bulla bidout de pear.

Even now yu spirit chants in warm, vibesy tones

Singing, "Please don't yu rock my bones!"

But some still determined fe rock yu bones.

Them say it don't matter where yu bury

Because that can't change where yu did born,

But Jamaica fightin' to keep yu restin'

Forever within its arms.

We give thanks an' praise to Father God

For his blessed gift named Bob.

Happy Earth-strong, Bob!

A Rose Just For You . . . All!

This is just to test de photo bucket that Kami told mi about. This flower is mi early Valentine's treat to all ov yu luvly Bloggers an' stalkers out there. Next, ah might just publish mi Granny--ah tried to publish her this mornin', but me an' Gramm' need to wheel an' come again. Have a nice weekend!

Ah Heard

LL Cool J was on American Idol last night, and NOW ah really believe de 'L's in his name--he IS lovable. He actually brought out Simon's sensitive side, an' had Simon offerin' to hug rejected contestants. Who'da thunk it? However, when ah really consider LL's career, it just made sense. He was always more than just a pretty face. LL's wholesome, but still edgier than Will Smith--a tough balance to strike. (We could forgive him de "Pass da Ol' Gold" line in his comeback rap that said "Don't call it a comeback!" Also, we could forgive him de drug Kingpin role he played in "In Too Deep"--hey reality's reality.) He's remained true ta himself for da most part, even at his most mass appealin' (rememba EPMD, Jdid?)
LL is settin' an example for people ov all ages--which is so fragile, 'cause so many would want to adopt him as an ABSOLUTE role model, an' then get suicidal if LL falls from grace. Yeah, we gotta rememba that he's only human, but still de fact is, he seems like such a good person. On American Idol, he far exceeded everyone's expectations in de love that he showed EVERY contestant--good an' bad. He's a family man, an' a likeable individual, so ah just had to add him to mi Blog. True ta himself, he's showin' that it can be done.
Today, ah heard about a hurricane rippin' through Bermuda--rough enough to close down all but de most essential gov't services. De hope is that de hurricane's effects will be far less severe than we've been witnessin' in recent times in other places. Heard it's still pretty bad, an' ah gotta verify that. If 2005 isn't a wake-up call to almost every region of God's green earth, then people, I don't know what is! Have a great day!

Blog Test

De previous was a Test Blog, but this is a test for Bloggers to check out their psych state. Answer de questions below, an' then interpret it wif de key below it. Try it, it'll be fun.

1. You're walkin' in de woods, wif whom are yu walkin'?
2. You see an animal, what kinda animal is it?
3. What do yu do wif/to de animal?
4. You see a house an' enter it, what's on de table in de house?
5. You step out & see a drinkin' goblet on de ground, what's it made ov?
6. Is it old/new--what do ya do wif de goblet?
7. You see a body ov water--puddle, pool, ocean, etc.--what is it?
8. What do yu do wif de body ov water.

This is supposed to give ya a glimpse ov yu own emotional predisposition.
1. De person yu walk wif, is de most important one to you.
2. De animal yu see represents your view ov yu fears.
3. How yu deal wif de animal is how yu deal wif yu fears.
4. What's on de table's what yu take from life--flowers/food=joy.
5. De goblet yu see is yu view ov what you're made ov.
6. How yu treat de goblet is how yu treat yourself.
7. De body ov water represents your sensuality.
8. How you indulge or refrain is how yu indulge or refrain in life.

What do ya fink? Does it reflect de real you?

Test Blog

Will this post show or won't it? Don't know what happened to mi post yestry-day about LL Cool J, an' partly about de hurricane in Bermuda. If this post also disappears, then I'll know mi Blog's broken. :-( If it shows, then ah know mi Blog's okay. :-)

Shop Lock

Last night a lady called in to Pastess' radio show, an' started discussin' her personal life. De male callers' outrage to her info prompted Da Piggy to write this version ov Elephant's "Bad Man" song:
Bad man don't bathe
Them deh boy noh have noh rag
Bad man a weak heart
Yet him deh a road a brag
Shotta clothes don't WASH
A dutty clothes them boy deh wear ...
This version ov de song is supposed to be de female's response to de scorn that some ov those so-called "gallis" like Ele display toward women. How can men who claim to be ladies' men, show such scorn for de female body?
The lady on Pastess made de mistake ov tellin' people that she 'helped herself' now an' then ( Doc called this "takin' bizniz in hand" or "holdin' a back" in his recent post about a public flasher. Anyway, de worst part ov it for de woman was when she said that she's 64 years old. Oh no! One popular caller, David, said that she's too old to be settin' that kinda example, an' he'd NEVER let that woman cook for him, "She's a dirty woman, I'd never eat from har!" Others hopped on his band-wagon; a few women even got in on de act. Pastess had shows about what should be de right age for people to throw in de sexual towel. On those shows, many people said there's no age limit for men, but that women should retire from sex before they reach 60. Pastess says that this just shows how narrow people's views are, an' that de best example de older woman coulda set for kids was to call in an' discuss frankly some details ov her personal life as she had done.
Pastess has a point. Ah saw a psych on TV once who had de same view. She said she grew up knowin' very little about adult issues an' was totally unprepared for ALL ov it. She was candid wif de young girls to whom she directed her speech, tellin' them that their Moms shoulda already told them all that they were hearin' that day. She said she knew that their Moms prob'ly had de same experiences, that she wasn't de only one who learnt de hard way that sex an' love are very separate for a vast number ov men, that a man's body an' a woman's body were wired so alike an' yet so differently, an' that she wasn't de only rocket scientist who thought that she was really dyin' when she first had an orgasm. She said too many women are ignorant ov how their parts work. Well, if de responses on Pastess are much to go by, she can add a lot ov J'can girls to her list ov de sexually ignorant, 'cause those callers were sure puttin' on a pious act last night!

De Piggy's Gettin' Thar

Heard someone on de radio jokin' that yu know you're gettin' old, when de song yu hear as yu enter an elevator prompts yu to exclaim, "Yeah! That's de Jam right there!" I've had that happen to me--several times, it will when yu love instrumentals, guitar solos, an' Kenny Loggins (can yu say "Footloose"?). De problem isn't so much havin' yu favourites bein' old school, de problem is constantly criticizin' de new stuff by usin' old school to knock it down. Da Piggy does that all de time. Don't want to hear no 50 cents (he needs Kurtis Blow to teach him timin'), don't want to hear no Ludakris (he could stand to study under Slick Rick), don't want to hear no Kim (but Missy's cool, an' Pharrell's got great old school flavour), an' ah rooted for Nas instead ov Jay, only 'cause Nas has more old-school an' constructive rhymes in him IMHO. Yep, old school's got me. I'm still tickled at de memory ov mi 13-yr-old neighbour in JA tryin' ta decide between "de mawga one or de mampy one" every time JJ Fad was on TV--he loved 'em an' de Super-sonic song. When Jdid posted about Special Ed recently, an' also reminded me ov Grand Poo (all Nubians!), ah was in heaven that day. It just don't get better, but I'm still alive. That's how ah feel about it. Can you say HATER!? Ah confess. That's what mi old-school preference makes me--an' it's de same for Reggae to some degree. Ah hear Assassin an' them, an' ah say to mi-self, I'd rather hear Stitchie singin' "Lover Boy Sess" or Tiger singin' "Don is Don" or Major Mackerel singin' "Noh Rush De Don Ban'." Tullo' T, Courtney Melody, an' others who might still be around had their hey-day back then. Can't tell yu how ah got in trouble for singin' Ninja's "Dead B-mb- Clawt." Mi Grandma nearly collapsed when she caught mi. "That's NOT how I raised you! Don't you dare sing that disgustin' bizniz! Mel, you goh wash out yu mouth wid soap now!" (She an' I both LOVED Red Dragon's "Fresh" though.) On Disco 9000 mini-bus, I'd hear de "bad" songs again, an' start singin' them again. Mi aversion to much current "popular" music convinces me that mi time is about past. It must be some-fing that happens when you're older than 30; yu start lambastin' new stuff, in favour ov de old. (Yu still got some good years to go, Kami--enjoy them to de fullest!) So, I've officially entered de hip-hop "Hater" stage. If you're a head from de new school, an' yu Hate mi opinion, don't git mad, git money! Your stuff just might become great old school for de current generation--an', hey, smooch Da Piggy!

From De Service

Here's what Da Piggy took from today's sermon:
Blasphemy against The Holy Spirit is de unpardonable sin, yet it seems like de easiest sin to do. Many don't recognize that it's often better to want some-fing yu don't have, than it is to be stuck wif some-fing that yu really don't want; and so when we're feelin' dissatisfied wif life, we might unwittingly lash out at God's divine plan or curse his intricate life-design because ov its applications to us. Let's be glad for all de gifts that God has given us today, an' say sorry for de times that we've been ungrateful or insulting ov his gifts. Let's have a thankful an' blessed week!

Waz REALLY Good?

Bloggers, it seems everyfing's a health hazard these days. De basics that we took for granted even a few years ago (like pourin' quicksilver into dental cavities, or usin' carbs as de staple ov our diet) have suddenly become secret toxins. Women are told they shouldn't replace silver fillin's wif white ones within a month ov gettin' pregnant, because swallowin' even a minute amount ov that mercury could harm de baby in de womb--yet so many ov us walk around for years wif this stuff in our teeth! Then more an' more experts say that every-meal carbs are de leadin' cause ov diabesity (diabetes, hyper-tension, and obesity combined). But who doesn't love carbs in every meal? De secret is supposed to be organic legumes an' poultry or fish--oops! Doesn't sea pollution increase de mercury in fish & such? An' haven't grocery chickens been takin' de fowl pill long before small-chested women started takin' it? Never mind that we nuke our food wif microwave radiation, never mind that we use TEFLON-coated pots an' pans 'cause so many stores seem to avoid carryin' stainless steel but promote de heck out ov none-stick cookware instead. Technology's good, but wif each advancement, we seem to be paintin' ourselves more an' more into a corner--by de time we're TOTALLY tech-advanced, NOTHING might be safe for us. Computers give off radon, but they're in almost every job--are we paranoid yet? Oh, just in case we're not, smokin' isn't de only lung-foe (though MNCs promoted smokes to 5-yr-olds in under-developed countries in an effort to cash in on life-time chain-smokin'), hello, sugar-less gum! This is becomin' a bit much. Ah try to avoid gm food--no beef, to avoid steroids/hormones--like Tiger said, "We's big, we don't nyam pig"--but we all bite a pig in some form or other--maybe even in Cheez Trix. (An' btw, what de heck's de difference between processed cheese food or cheese product, an' regular cheese?) Fast food is slow poison, yet as de domestic (N. Amer.) market gets wiser to this, de restaurants just export de related diseases to less educated worlds (let's call those worlds "developin' countries"). Wow. Does it matter that just a few years ago, Coca-Cola took on de monumental marketin' task ov convincin' ACP (African, Caribbean, Pacific) populations to drink soda (Coke or some culturally-customized version ov Coke) instead ov water to quench their thirst. "Yeah! Don't drink water when you're thirsty--that's uncivilized--drink cold sugar to quench your thirst!" When Coke first dressed up Santa in its company's red & white, it probably had no idea that it woulda been able to follow de Santa outfit to as many countries as have heard about Christmas--an' which country hasn't? Greedy MNCs set out to purchase land around many countries' rivers an' streams, just so they can erect barriers to deny people access to their natural water sources, an' then turn around an' sell de same people bottled "spring" water from de same vendin' machine as soda--like soda's as healthy as pure water! An' btw, one MNC carries on years after it convinced people in African countries that its baby-formula was safer than breast-milk, causin' millions ov babies to die 'cause mothers didn't realize how toxic de water-formula mixture would be. (Mi only fitness goal was to exercise an' maintain mi current weight, but now that I'm monitorin' mi lifestyle in detail, I'm questionin' more ov this stuff.) These pre-natal check-ups do cause one to wonder an' ponder, don't they?

Small World

Yu can't get away scot-free! (A scot was de tax that serf paid to feudal Lords)
Yu goin' meet yu Waterloo! (Waterloo's de Belgian city where Napoleon met his final defeat in 1815)
Please don't yu rock mah bones, cause ah don't want mah bones to be rocked!" (De only request that Bob ever made regardin' his skeletal remains, which if disregarded might cause Rita to meet her Waterloo.)
Evidently, some don't fear retribution too much, but retribution is a rough road. Small example, ah went to drop off mi Piglet at martial arts last evenin', an' was hopin' that someone would be loiterin' by de front desk, so that we wouldn't have to buzz an' then freeze outside waitin' to be let in. Luckily, someone was just bein' buzzed in. Ah tapped mi horn, an' de Piglet an' I made our way towards de woman who was prob'ly goin' in to pick up a child from de earlier class. She looked around, an' held de door, clutchin' her coat about her to keep warm. Then we recognized each other. She's de pushy store-clerk that spritzed De Piggy last Christmas! Oops! She looked like she thought, "There's de customer that gave mi de evil eye last Christmas!" She spun 'round quickly--almost as though she'd never seen us at all, an' walked off so that de door clicked shut. We knocked on de glass, as she walked away, but she wouldn't look back. We buzzed. We waited, hopin' that she'd soon be back wif her pick-up. Nope. She seemed to be takin' her own sweet time. We froze for a few minutes until a lady--wif her son, Matthew, Piglet's buddy--also early for de next class, was sent to see who was at de door. As we entered, we saw de pushy clerk finally leavin' wif two kids--prob'ly picked up her friends' kids for them. In those few freezin' moments outside, ah wondered whether this was retribution. Standin' outside when it's colder than hell frozen over sure feels like it, but it might not have been. Maybe, she'll be facin' some likkle retribution for bein' so spiteful an' vindictive--an' yes, Bloggers, it IS a small world, isn't it?

Pork-pourri

Yu know how psychologists say that de most critical non-family bond is de first same-sex friendship that each ov us develops when we get to about 10 years old? Well, mi mind's been wanderin' to mi long-time friend from school days, K. She was such a marvelous kid. She used to be a helluva "dance instructor" when she was likkle, an' she used to be a raahtid hairdresser too--she used to fix mi hair in all kinda wacky hairdos--ah fink she believed ah was her doll even though we're de same age. She was mi confidante, an' mi company fe hug-up, as we crossed de road to our friend's house--we argued & 'gree back so many times! When we got to Wolmer's , an' we had no classes together at all, we drifted apart, then after high school, we totally lost touch. Last ah heard, she was workin' at Air J, an' she's been married for some time now, but ah don't even know her new surname. Mi other friend, S, migrated to Austria wif her parents over a decade ago--don't know where she is now. 'S' was so irreverent an' cool. Ah remember in confirmation class, she said she wouldn't confess ALL de sins ov that week to Father Cr. (sinful thoughts, masturbation, etc.), to repent ov them an' be forgiven through intercession. "Him can goh catch him jollies off-ah somebody else," she said. "'Cause me naw tell him all a my bizniz!" She told him only what she wanted to, even after we told her that if she didn't confess everyfing, then one day far away, Holy Communion woulda choke har. :-) She stuck to her guns, an' held out on him--but based on de parts that she told him, she still had to do more penance than everybody else! Suppose she did tell him everyfing--all now she'd still be sayin' Hail Mary's! She was one ov a kind.
I've long been wantin' a reunion, an' some sweet nostalgic posts from Sunshine, Kami, an' Jdid have added to mi resolve. When ah read Scratchie's post yesterday, ah remembered some-fing that K's mother said one evenin', when she was sittin' on her lawn chair, an' we kids sprawled off on her shiny veranda tiles. (We could talk to K's mom about anyfing.) 'S' was sayin' that fornication wouldn't be a big deal if people only did it once, an' never a second time. However, K's mom told us never to fall into de trap ov believin' that anyone can easily do wrong once an' only once. "You can't miss what you never had," K's mom said. "So it's much better for someone to remain a tantalizing thought than for you to convert that person into a disturbing memory. Confess an' repent." K's mom didn't seem too keen on confession booths either--'God is de direct line, why go through de operator then?' Scratchie's post was partly about handlin' extra-marital attraction, an' wif de memory ov K's mom, came this memory gem. "Speak the truth, and speak it ever, cause it what it will; (s)he who hides the wrong he does, does the wrong thing still." That's supposed to be de gem that helps spouses to tell each other everyfing--even de bad stuff, but still we don't have to burden a partner wif hourly reports every time someone tries to flirt wif us, or approaches our interest. That's just plain cruel, an' that kinda stuff would make anyone insecure. Funny how readin' a Blog stirred up such thought. Keep on Bloggin, folks.

Jus' De Facts, Ham.

After talkin' to mi heartbroken uncle, an' hearin' how he's puttin' on a brave face every time he steps out into de $#&%@ freezin' London streets to rebuild what some triflin' gold-digger stole from him, it occurred to mi: these days, love sucks wif a straw where singles are concerned. Yeah, singles are free agents, they don't have to answer to anybody except God & de gov't, they keep odd hours, they flirt freely 'cause there's no wife to get mad at 'em, but at de end ov it all, they must battle this paranoia: who's just tryin' to use me? Ah mean, isn't that de world we live in? Ah know I'm no expert on de datin' scene (Mr. Pig an' I knew we were meant to marry from ah was 20 years old, an' over a dozen years later, we still believe we were right. Others didn't believe us then, but they've since shut up. PTL!), but de single life seems rougher an' rougher out there.
Point is, de world gets more materialistic by de second, an' that affects some people more than others. If you're not one who's drawn to de vanity, then you just might be a sittin' duck for those who want to con a sentimental schmuck. I'm glad I'm spoken for. Why? 'Cause I'm such a sentimental schmuck. Yes, I am. Truth is truth, an' I'm not ashamed to say it. Ah still melt when mi husband sneaks up behind mi an' puts a likkle kiss on mi neck. To me, that's priceless. And I just cannot imagine people goin' through these displays ov affection, knowin' deep down that their only concern is how much money they can con out ov de person who's weak for them. Those money-mongers are savages! Mi husband's lucky too, 'cause he's just as sentimental as De Piggy. However, mi equally sentimental uncle's not so lucky. As de sayin' goes, him pick an' pick, soh 'til him pick shet. Tough. There just has to be some sure-fire way ov weedin' out de users an' gold-diggers, aside from just plain old intuition. There's got to be a strategy to sussin' them out, an' castin' them aside from they bat that first eye-lash at yu. Time doesn't always tell, yu know, some-time it tell' too late! Singles, ah fink there should be a datin' resume--more precise than datin'-service profiles. De resume should contain totally updated med records, profiles ov ex-lovers, any short- & long-term goals, work history, family profile (in case de relatives are in league wif de gold-digger, like mi uncle's ex's relatives were), and an essay outlinin' habits, fitness facts, and any idiosyncrasy. This docket-resume should be notarized by a JP or notary public or any official who can bind de dater to what he/she's got on paper and penalize fraud. Some bandoolu ones woulda still slip through, but for de most part, it would put crucial info up front. Seems way ahead ov its time, ah know, but don't yu feel it's a good idea?

Snowy Sunday

"I could've finished 'em off faster, but I paced myself, 'cause I wanted ta keep punchin' 'em." -- Jack Johnson, boxin' champ talkin' about de rivals he knocked out. Isn't that an unusual quote from De Piggy on a Sunday? Normally, I'd write along de lines ov, "God works all things to the good of them that love Him." That's still true, but maybe because it's snowin' so much today, an' instead ov goin' to church, ah stayed in an' spent a rough couple ov hours on de 'phone wif mi uncle who lives in London, mi outlook is skewed today. Mi uncle works hard. He used to run mi Grampy's furniture-lumber bizniz by himself before Grampy died an' family in-fightin' started. Customers loved him, an' used to ask for him by name. When de struggle over Grampy's estate wore on, Uncle moved back to England to seek his own fortune--an' after a few years, his brothers ran Grampy's bizniz into de ground. They weren't half as smart as mi favourite uncle. Yes, he's mi favourite. (I've mentioned him in previous posts.) This Blog's always been written in honour ov his crazy cockney accent. Ah love Smartie-pants dearly, but now he doesn't feel so smart. After leavin' de rift wif his siblings, he slaved in subzero temperatures and had his fiancee administerin' all his finances at home. He went all out for de past three years, not even buyin' a plane ticket to JA as he'd normally do. He worked without a vacation, an' to de best ov his knowledge, he an' his fiancee bought a house, a new car, and commercial property together. At 43, he's quite ready to marry her an' start a family this year. Then after labourin' in de cold, he finally returned to JA last year, an' was shocked to find that she was big big pregnant--for some other guy--and even more shocked to find that he doesn't own most ov what he thought he owned. That woman, her new boyfriend, an' her relatives own all that his money bought. Mi uncle's heartbroken. Now, he realizes de value ov blood-family, an' he wishes he'd had his sisters manage his finances in his absence or keep his foreign-currency account in his name only. He trusted his ex too much. His ex was never much for his family. She believes we're too deep into one another's bizniz. Evidently, she's wrong about that, since she had more access to his finances, an' more knowledge ov his budget than even his Mum did. He's crushed. His sisters are pushin' him to demand that his ex an' her relatives vacate de house that he worked so hard to buy. His ex is afraid ov mi Auntie an' told him, "I'll eventually pay yu back, but keep that coolie woman away from mi!" WHAT?? Now Auntie's more than willin' to tear that schemer to bits, but mi uncle said everyone should just forget about this, an' leave conniver to God. I wondered, Leave her to God? Searchin' mi mind for a biblical quote that would satisfy de inadequacy ov his statement, de only quote that came to mind was Jack Johnson's quote that started this post. Ah don't know how long Uncle can tame his most fiery sister--I'd hate for them to contribute to de violence in JA, but there's a lot ov animosity goin' on concernin' what his ex did. Still, in all their anger, no one realizes how hurt Uncle is in all ov this. I've tried to lift his spirits over de 'phone, but what does a guy in his position really need to hear at a time like this?

Forever Wolmer's

Hi, Bloggers. Kami's Blog called to mind de school ah love de most. So today, I'm payin' tribute to WOLMER'S--"Age Quod Agis"--"Whatever we do, we do it to de best ov our abilities." Yeah, Bybee!! Whatta school! MB's Dad was a Wolmerian too, ah heard--a school that helped shape him into a fine father and a fine man, I'm sure. For those ov you who don't know, de Prep School hugged de Girls' School cavaliers side, and de Boys' School hugged de girls' upper school side toward Heroes Circle.
What some girls loved: Usin' de crosswalk--it was de rule.
What some didn't love: Usin' de crosswalk--it was de rule.
What some girls loved: De boys who idled below de 2nd storey 4th-form buildin' an' cheered every time they saw a girl they liked--Lawd help yu if yu slip ever show!--they'd go crazy, until Mr. Barnett would send someone to chase them away. They had de good mind to remain silent, and not to "boo", if they didn't fancy someone.
What some girls didn't love: De same boys who idled below de 2nd storey 4th-form buildin' an' whistled whenever they saw a girl they liked--one skinny boy wif a high curly 'Fro used to whistle whenever he saw me--and his friends used to whistle along wif him. Ah used to hold up mi Trapper Keeper to hide mi face whenever ah had to leave de classroom after classes or at lunch-time. That never stopped them; it only made them laugh--and they still recognized me. Yeah, 4th-form was a perplexin' year. On Sports Day, mi pony-tail clip came loose in de midst ov sports excitement (jumpin' up for mi House), an' de high-Fro whistler retrieved it. Mi just grab de clip from him an' run! His friends laughed, and de embarrassin' wolf-whistles continued. A girl from de neighbourin' 4th-form classroom had it worse; her Dad barked at de boys once, but de next day, de cat-calls continued.
Whom most girls loved: Mrs. Girvan, de English teacher, because she was such a stickler for good grammar, yet had such a great sense ov humour. Our favourite pet names for teachers: Scrip-cha Willie (Scripture/R.K. teacher, Mrs. Wyllis), Miz Bellum (LOUD French teacher, Mrs. Harrison--thunderous voice), Flat-head (boy's school Econ--taught us in co-ed 6th form--he allegedly always told de boys "Gwaan goh play Sunlight Cup!" Not cricket--he was sendin' them to stand out inna de sun as punishment. Wolmer's boys also called a certain teacher Mount EverBreast--'cause ov her generous 'buzums'--out ov respect for de teacher, ah won't say her real name.
Can't speak for de boys, but they always loitered by their fence--EVERY mornin' rain or shine, and critiqued de girls who took de bus to Torrington Bridge. God help any girl who allowed them to tamper wif her, they'd bawl out her bizniz by de fence--one girl's parents removed her from Wolmer's at de end ov 1st (!) form for that very same reason. Anyway, ah won't bash de boys. They were gentlemen for de most part--even though some ov them lurked by de tennis courts like stalkers. If a girl kept a safe distance, de most they'd do is whistle from a distance; they never got into malignin' girls who didn't pay them any mind. Gotta respect that. Big up to every Wolmerian out there in Blogland!! Have a nice day, everybody!

From Today's Sermon

Here's what De Piggy took from today's sermon: To avoid tug-ov-war against God's divine plan, ask God that your dreams may be born within His holy will; that way, your every dream will be blessed by God and will surely come true, when God's will be done.
"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength and my redeemer." Psalms 19:14
Have a luvly, Sunday, and a great week!

P.S. If we believe that our current hopes and dreams are not God's will, then we could ask Him to gently turn our hearts and minds only toward what He wants us to do.

Truly Heartfelt

I wrote this poem because my heart is full:


Jamaica Is Sincerely Sorry

Jamaica is sincerely sorry.
Not only has she been killing her own,
She has alienated also admirers
And she is becoming lost and alone.

She has been hemorrhaging
But none have stanched the flow,
Many have been trying bravely
Going where most would fail to go.

But those who would kill Jamaica
Do not want to see her healed,
So young Dr. Nanton arrived on our shores
Not knowing his fate was sealed.

He was a stellar son
Of St. Vincent & The Grenadines
And would foster broader Caribbean pride
For all that he was and promised to be.

Now, we feel not just the angry hurt of the parent
Whose offspring cut short its own life,
But also the guilty pain of the parent whose bad seed
Murdered a neighbour's son, wasting the potential of their joy and pride.

St. Vincent, we can't make it up to you
We've long been battling this evil ourselves.
We who love our island can only give you
Our heartfelt condolence,
And say that this abomination
Is not our country's way.
It is a scourge that has held our region hostage
From which--by God!--we'll all escape some day.

Heroes

Heroes like Martin Luther King roam among us every single day. If you doubt this, just read the story entitled "One of The Best" at Mad Bull's Blog . If it doesn't touch your heart, ah don't know what will. Have a nice weekend!

J'can Challenges

Strange happenin's in JA, from what I'm readin', Bloggers. Doc and Scratchie report some perplexin' situations re crime & police. Two men missin', and Commissioner Forbes is out. I've always believed Trevor McMillan was de better choice for de post ov commissioner. No, Piggy's not political--but Mr. McMillan just had a credible, no-nonsense way to him. He spoke frankly, which encouraged transparency. Ah don't know Mr. Forbes at all--who does, really, after so many years in office? Scratchie mentioned Forbes' sudden show ov transparency: publishin' officers' privacy, like de people dem age can solve crime. Politics corrupt. Some police corrupt, some not.
Almost eighteen years ago, ah went to visit mi grandfather at Andrew's Memorial before he succumbed to his illnesses. De hospital felt claustrophobic, so ah left, and wandered about for a bit, tryin' to accept that Grampy was really on his way out. Ah didn't realize how shaken ah was, until a policeman pulled up beside me on his bike and asked, "Yu okay?" He looked at mi like he was tryin' to place mi age--ah was long an' cranky--but up close, he could see that ah was little more than a child. He escorted mi back to de hospital. Visitin' hours were now up, and mi uncle had driven off a few minutes earlier, believin' I'd left wif Auntie. (Them time deh,telephone an' telegram nevva even start wine together fe conceive cell phone, soh there was no way to call him back right away.) No problem. Ah was wearin' jeans--modestly bike-friendly gear--and ah had mi first and only bike ride! De policeman safely took mi home, told mi to stay sweet, and said, "Noh worry, dear heart, God a look-out fe Grampy." Ah never forgot that. De bad cops who draw down 'pon people an' try hustle money don't sway mi opinion. That one policeman will always be mi strongest impression ov de JA Constabulary Force. I'm prayin' for de force in JA, 'cause believe me, Bloggers, there are some good cops out there. Hope yu have a great day!

From De Sermon

What De Piggy took from today's sermon is along de lines ov our New Year's sentiments--holding true, irrespective ov fame or fortune:
Compromise lives within boundaries; it is not boundless exchange. Esau sold his birthright for a mess of pottage, never thinking that he was giving away his life. Give and take only within the perimeters of your good values, never invalidating yourself. People who truly mean you well will respect your refusals as readily as they accept your agreement. "For what doth it profit a man to gain the world and lose his soul?"

De Ongoin' Oink

Greetins from De Piggies! Last night, ah heard a troubled final-year UWI student tellin' Dear Pastess that she doesn't know what'll happen to girls who look like she does. She said she just doesn't believe that guys are interested in de purely Afrocentric. "Don't worry, sweetheart," Dear Pastess soothed her. "You'll soon find a nice guy." But she was inconsolable; she said that on de UWI campus all she sees are de biracial girls bein' wined and dined by both de Black and de mixed males, and that's led her ta feel that Black girls might never marry and multiply. She's out to pasture at her young age, it seems. Dear Pastess told her that she's got a lot goin' for her, as charmin' as her voice was and as eloquently as she expressed her (low) self-concept. She couldn't be convinced. That was disturbin'. Some men called in and tried to explain why they prefer de more obviously biracial (askin' if all J'cans really multi-racial), or even to pledge their admiration for Black women & EVERY kinda women. However, de girl had started a snowball rollin', and soon other women were callin' in to complain that de men who choose Black women refuse to give them de royal treatment that de biracial ones get. New version ov an outdated song, and just when it seemed like Dear Pastess was gettin' somewhere drummin' into them that times are a-changin' and color matters less these days, there was de one sour-orange who called to say, "Black man like me haffe lighten them lineage soh that them pickney won't born too Black and suffer." Aaaaaaagh!!!!! Stop it, JA! We'll lag behind de rest ov de world, if wi hang on to mental slavery. Stop it, JA--are they even listenin'?

Piggy's Old Picture

Mr. Pig got such a kick out ov hearin' about a picture that was in our old album, he suggested that ah Blog about it. So here goes:
De boy in de picture that Mr. Pig saw is someone I'll call "Mystery," and when ah was seventeen, Mystery used to be at mi gate some afternoons--mi Grandma was a STRICT person. He was okay, in general--but what De Piggy really liked about him was his mischievous look that hinted at RUDE knowledge. We hung out at de plazas (de mall) most Saturday afternoons after ah completed mi chores, and although we called ourselves boyfriend & girlfriend we were pretty platonic, until he came up wif de bright idea that it was time he and De Piggy French-kissed. (He knew a lot about stuff like that--RUDE knowledge.) Anyway, that day he did some-fing that made mi believe ah was madly in love wif him. (Ah won't say what he did, 'cause it was so SILLY--mi husband laughed 'til he almost rolled off de couch and kept askin' me to repeat it when ah told him about that.) Anyway, Mystery said what he said and did what he did, and ah was SURE that ah loved him, and that he'd be mi number one in more ways than one. He said as much to some ov de boys at his school, and I'd been sayin' as much to a few ov de girls from mi school. But those plans were not to be; ah soon found out that Mystery'd had another girlfriend all along. (He denied de other relationship to de very end, and even tried to embarrass de poor girl into sayin' that they'd long been broken up--such a lost cause.)
Anyway, this just goes to show how puppy love can really be mongrel love, and how silly we were as youngsters. In front ov him, de girl said what he wanted her to say; then as soon as his back was turned, she admitted that she and he were still together. Ov course, De Piggy run him! It all turned out very well for mi though, 'cause for years now I've had somebody who's far more interestin'--Mr. Pig! ;^) Yeah, Bybee!!
Ah thought ov throwin' de picture out, but "Keep de picture," Mr. Pig said. "A part a life. A history." And ah guess it is, 'cause now I've written about it. Enjoy de rest ov your day, luv!

Sentence From De Sermon

De Piggy took this from today's sermon: Few people wisely capitalize on their own doubts and fears. A man reportedly suffered mentally-debilitating nightmares; he'd always wake up frightened and exhausted. However, he capitalized on his own cowardice and wrote novels that led to lucrative movie deals. Now, he's a resounding success. De moral ov de sermon? Push past your fear this year, whatever it may be, and claim de benefits ov a fearless life. Have a great day!